BEARS

Farewell Ralph Lauren Rugby. You confused me a little, with your slightly cheaper takedowns of Polo pieces that seemed to be simultaneously on sale at the Polo store, but your skull-embroidered shorts were the truth. Just as one division winds down, RL Vintage gets a push. This wing of the Ralph empire brings back some old pieces in vintage form including the Flag SSweater that Lauren had specially made for his LIFE cover in 1989 as well as a wild hand painted lambskin jacket (price on enquiry). What’s in the store at the moment is old west-themed (a familiar reference point) but where it goes thematically is anyone’s guess. There’s also the promise of some fan voted reproductions of classic Polo too, with the return of the Polo Bear sweater looming and the opportunity to pick from a quartet of well-dressed beasts. The street-level fandom of that particular piece almost certainly fueled that decision to retro it, but the collector profiles (showcasing some interesting gear) and the shots of New Yorker Divine Bradley — who starred in a 2003 Polo Jeans print campaign — and his “suicide” ski jacket, P-wing gear and Snow Beach jacket might be the closest I’ve seen to an acknowledgment of those pieces and the urban audience who popularized them. Are we going to see Snow Beach sold as a vintage piece through an official Ralph Lauren site? Will we see a retro of those coveted designs? Incidentally, I root for the bottom right bear that’s currently losing the vote and is doomed to stay dusty and never return from vintage limbo. Did somebody at the company clock the blog love for unturned stones in the Lauren archive? They’ve even started an official Tumblr that seems to be a response to the volume of Polo fetishism being pumped out via that mode of blogging. It’s interesting to see where this project goes.

That wasn’t enough to justify a Sunday blog update — I’m embroiled in Nike and Complex matters. As an apology for that, here’s a couple of strange celebrity sportswear endorsements from 1987. New Edition could have done a lot better than mess with the always-terrible LA Gear (those ‘Can You Stand the Rain’ outfits have aged better than any LA Gear effort), but that Le Coq Sportif Kool & the Gang co-sign was too unexpected to criticise. Who brokered that one?

WHEN SMARTENING UP GOES STUPID: CHOPPER’S SUIT

“Another contributor to this collateral trading-up is the maturation of the contemporary male’s taste level. The style-conscious male man has graduated from the high-fashion suit’s two-year cycle of disposability toward something with a longer life expectancy, and thus, value.” Alan Flusser, ‘Dressing The Man’, 2002

“I’m a solid ni**a. A hundred percent. A tall-ass gangsta. That what I am. A tall-ass gangsta. Look at me ni**a. A real boss ni**a…I’m great. I’m extravagant.” Chopper City, 2009

When former Diddy reality TV underling Chopper City decided to make a video calling out his rap opponents and establish his boss credentials last March, it’s safe to assume that he didn’t see the implications of his oversized suit on the horizon. Worldstarhiphop.com can be unmerciful at the best of times. A hotbed of goonery, footage of Rawse’s boy Gunplay acting the tit and webcam addresses, it’s deeply addictive stuff, but the e-roasting that Chopper received acts as a cautionary tale when an attempt at smart dressing gets stupid. David Byrne in ‘Stop Making Sense’? The boy at the end of ‘Big’? Way too obvious.

Over 3 months, the Worldstar comedians came out in force, offering some of the most esoteric yet fitting (as opposed to the vast shoulders of the sartorial subject matter) reference point. They came to a close in June 2009 – not helped by crackers unleashing some misfires. The funniest thing ever on the internet? After a compilation of talking animal clips, yes indeed. There’s few more joyous sights than a veritable festival of mockery, and with 6,324 replies, it brought the geniuses out to play. This was a bonafide mini-meme, and the YouTube parodies were plentiful. It actually made Chopper more memorable than he ever was before, yet one senses that this wasn’t some genius marketing scheme. All it took was the first comment from a guest poster, “If choppa don’t get his missy elliot “i can’t stand the rain ” wearin suit a** outta here…(sic)” to unleash a tide of superior badly tailored reference points…

“Old Carl Thomas I’ll never be the same again suit”
“HE’S WEARING A COT DAMN COACHES SUIT LOL”
“Old Joe Clark Lean On Me suit”
“Old Tommy Davidson “Strictly Business” suit”
“OLE WESLEY SNIPES I NEVER LIKED YO PRETTY A** ANYWAY NEW JACK CITY SUIT WEARING A**””
“He sounds mad stupid, grow up you stupid azz!Why is he dressed like Morris Day on Easter Sunday?”
“OL HAKEEM OLAJUWON ON DRAFT DAY SUIT WEARING A** NICCA”
“Ole “5 Heartbeats Eddy Cane” suit lookin boy!!!”
“Ole Blame it on the rain suit lookin boy”
“Ol’ Deion Sanders “Must Be The Money” video shoot suit wearing looking boy”
“Old Rodney King ” Cant we all just get along” press conference suit”
“Ol Tommy Wright III “Feel Me Before They Kill me” floating above the casket suit wearin azz n*gga”
“OLE PATRICK EWING 1985 FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK SUIT A** F*** BOIIIIIIIIII LOLLL”

Most memes are about as funny as an anal fissure in a matter of days. The Chopper City affair? Still hilarious. Wandering through the streets of Bed-Stuy last week, a few $99 suits in the same vein were spotted. In a 12:59, barely-watchable tirade, the cackling hangers-on, squalid home setting and that vast polyester silhouette is comedy perfection. For years, post-Master P, the vast grey or beige suit has come out to play frequently without comment. Something had to give. Flicking through Alan Flusser’s ‘Dressing The Man’, Chopper breaks every rule that Alan reinforces. There’s something oddly admirable about that. Anyone else remember Flusser popping shots at Thom Browne in a similar, albeit faintly more fitted, manner for a spot of fashion beef back in 2006?

To commemorate a year of Chopper’s suit, here’s some big shoulder bangers and their associated roast remark…

“You ol’ “ralph tresvant can you stand the rain suit ass muthaf***a”

“1996 Chauncey from Black Street “Dont Leave Me” suit.”

“Ol Slick Rick riding the bus in the “Teenage Love” video suit”

“Old Positive K ” I got a man” club suit”

“Old 1988 Johnny Kemp “Just Got Paid” suit”

LORD FINESSE’S AF1s

Once again, there’s no real modus operandi behind this blog, but even though I’ve got sufficient outlets for athletic footwear and hip-hop, I still thought I’d make it the topic of discussion today. I’ve been pondering Lord Finesse’s attire over the years alongside the beat and lyrical battle between him and Extra P to solidify an answer on the best producer on the mic debate. Today, Finesse. Tomorrow William Paul Mitchell. Like many of my boom-bap pensioner associates (I’m 31 – rap is a young man’s game), I gave up trying a while back.